Roger That

As most of you know, Mom is a shop-a-saurus when it comes to the pet department. One thing that she hasn't been able to find, however, is a stuffed toy that I can't disembowl. Believe me, she's tried them all, including the virtually indestructible ones by Go Dog and Coleman, which really aren't much of a challenge.

First, I very methodically remove the grunter. Then, I rip every last piece of stuffing out of 'em. I rather pride myself in having been able to silence each and every last beast with which I've come into contact. That was until this past Monday when I think I might've finally met my match.

I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce you to my new little brother, Roger, a 21-month old French Bulldog.

I keep trying to find the seams to get a good start on skinning him, but so far, to no avail. Furthermore, I can't find his grunter. It must really be hidden deep within the confines of the little bat-eared beast. I think that we might finally get our money out of this one.

Take your money to the bank

Even though I won my first blue ribbon at the Talbot County (MD) Kennel Club show this past weekend, I didn't earn any points. Mom, Dad, and I still had a really great time cheering on my relatives, Blush, Jackson, and Frankie, who took Best in Breed two days consecutively. Not that I'm a betting man, but if I were, I'd put my money on Frank, because you can take your money to the bank of the Chesapeake Bay when my Uncle Frank is in the ring.

After Frank's Best of Breed win on Saturday, Dad's hands were once again called into action to showcase his purple and gold ribbon.

Frank takes a chill pill after his win on Saturday

Highlights from the Talbot County Kennel Club Show

I'm a handful

Just checked into the Tide Water Inn in historic downtown Easton, MD. So far I give it four paws up. There was a fresh bowl of H2O outside waiting for me when I arrived. And, they provided me with a "Paws Off - Pet on Vacation" sign for my door so I'm not disturbed during my afternoon beauty nap. I am particularly enjoying the ultra-comfortable down bedding. However since there are only two queen beds in the room, I guess that M & D are going to have to share one because no one is cramping this pampered pup's paw space.


If you read my last post, you know "hail" famous my Dad's hands are. However, I never imagined that he would have received a "hand job" so quickly after arriving in Easton, MD.


As you can see, I needed a helping hand from Dad because my first trip over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge took the wind out of my sails and rendered me incapable of holding up my head.

Puparazzi catches chilling storm on film

Although the start of yesterday promised to be an outstanding day of sun and fun at my favorite state park, the day literally went to "hail" in a handbag. At approximately 2 p.m. when the clouds started to roll in and thunder rumbled from above, Mom, Dad & I decided that it was time to beat feet and head out before getting soaked.

Ignoring the ominous black clouds to the west, we set out on Gullibles Travels and moved on to our next destination, Long Pine Dam and Lake, for some much needed swimming lessons. As we crossed from Cumberland County into Franklin County, we had quite a chilling experience when the temperature dropped from approximately 75 to 45 degrees, and we were pummeled with almost two inches of hail during the course of ten minutes.

Being the up-and-coming Puparazzo that I am, I had my trusty Jazz Elite Hi-Def video camera in my hip pocket and caught the following on film which was submitted to our local news stations. Much to my delight, I awoke this morning to find that both the ABC and NBC affiliates decided to air the photo of my Pop's paws presenting a pile of precipitation. Thank Dog he had just filed his nails.



Since the film's air this morning, the phone hasn't stopped ringing from hand modeling agencies and tabloids begging for more phenomenal photos. Although I doubt that anyone will be able to portray Pop's paws as perfectly as I, we are happily accepting offers from respectable hand modeling agents because his part-time job as Library Dawg is never gonna make us rich.

Although the award-winning weather photos are definitely a nice resume builder, I'm not sure how much more mileage I'll get out of them. My next leg of weather watchin' will take place in a couple of weeks in the Outer Barks, NC. While I hope to avoid seeing the Weather Channel's notorious storm-chasing meteorologist Jim Cantore, in the unfortunate circumstance that it were to happen, I will gladly exchange weather "tails" with him.

Aw shucks!

No, I did not fall off the face of the earth. It's just that I've been busy entertaining family that was visiting from Savannah.

In any event, many of you football fans, like me, are looking forward to another season of fun-filled college football. While I will be packing on the evening of August 29 for my upcoming trip to the Outer Barks, NC, the Nittany Lions will launch the season with activities on Penn State Football Eve beginning at 6 p.m. outside Beaver Stadium. Keep in mind, it's never too early for a tailgate.

With M & D both working at Penn State, we bleed blue and white in the Knowlton household. Don't get me wrong, I know from where my meal ticket comes. But if Joe Pa and his legendary Nittany Lions can't come any closer to winning the National Championship in 2008 than they did last year, I am seriously considering "shucking" my Blue & White jersey, packing my bags, and heading west to try out for the Nebraska Cornhuskers.

While many of you might find my decision to possibly leave the Lions a bit characteristic of a turncoat, I must take my talent where it leads me. With sweet corn being in season in right now, my personal trainer, Hymie the husking house husband, and I have been honing our husking skills practically every day. After all as a member of the canine species, I would only be "lion" to myself if I thought I had more innate talent impersonating a feline than being a corn husker.

Personal trainer and junior husker hone husking skills

The Name Game

All expectant parents are faced with the name game dilemma at some point before the arrival of their bouncing bundle of joy.

• What are we going to name junior? Or perhaps even more contentious, will he be a junior? After all, who needs two people in the same household with the same name?



• Will the initial letters spell out some horrible word that kids will use to torment him on the playground? Take Alex Samuel Smith, for example.



• What would the name be spelled backwards? Case in point, Lana.

Expecting to bring home a little girl, I was supposed to be Thelma Lou. Finally, on the eve before my arrival, M & D agreed upon "Newman," derived from Old English meaning "newcomer."

With Mom being one of the biggest Seinfeld fans in the world, she finds the name doubly appropriate - especially when she catches me tramping through her flower beds, plucking whatever plant happens to tickle my fancy at the time. With nostrils flared, lip up-turned in disgust, and teeth clamped together, she mutters "Newman" just like Jerry does after he discovers that his archenemy, Newman, is responsible for something bad that happens in the show.

Enough about the history of how I got my name. What I really need your assistance with is helping my 9-week-old friend, Peanut, decide what her nickname should be. Her sophisticated name is Amity Hall’s Ticket to Vegas, but obviously that's too long for everyday purposes. Just imagine her mom calling out "Amity Hall’s Ticket to Vegas, NO!!!"

Dear Newman -

My name is Peanut. I was named Peanut 'cuz I was the runt of my litter. I was so small and cute that my mom thought Peanut was a good name for me. But now I am turning 9 weeks old and I need a big girl name. My fancy name is Amity Hall’s Ticket to Vegas. My mom has narrowed down the choices to call me either “Nevada” or “Vegas.” But, I just can’t make up my mind! What's a girl gonna do? Could you please run a poll on your blog to help me decide? Thanx a bunch, big guy!

Love - Peanut (for now)

What should my new name be?
Please cast your vote now!

(Poll located at the top right of your screen)

Remembering Ruth

From the minute I met M & D, I knew that I was going to have a tough row to hoe. Sure, most parents carry at least one photo of their kid with them, but these clowns showed up for their prospective parent interview with a calendar that featured Beulah Ruth on every month of the year!

During the course of their interview with Grammy Lee and me, I find out that the famed Beulah Ruth calendar has quite a long history behind it - one having been produced for each year of her life.

Now I'm thinking, "Who are these lunatics? Sure, I would love to find a home where I would be spoiled rotten as Top Dog, but I could just as easily be content staying here with Grammy Lee and all the other dogs."

Having her paws full with running All for the Pet and showing boxers like my uncle Frankie, who recently finished his championship at the American Boxer Club National Specialty taking Winners Dog and Best of Winners, Grammy Lee decided to take a chance on the two fruitcakes who I now call Mom and Dad.

Seeing tears well up in my eyes, Grammy Lee took me aside and reassured me that Tony Louwerse had given the Knowltons a glowing reference. For further consolation, she whispered in my ear that she had slipped a prepaid cell phone card in my "going home folder" in case I ever needed to call for help.

So on February 23, 2008, I officially became Newman Knowlton. Imagine the weight on my shoulders knowing that I was going to have to live my life in the shadow of this famed Boxer that they called Beulah Ruth.

For those of you, like me, who never had the pleasure of knowing Beulah Ruth, Mom put together this show, "Remembering Ruth." Kick back and enjoy the show!

For full-size slideshow, scroll to bottom of page.