Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving

Roger and Newman discuss "thanks"

Roger: Well, establishing a colony of Frenchies in Brushtown would be nice. But seeing how you are of German descent and we live in the heart of Amish country, also known for boxer puppy mills, I don't see that happening any time soon, which is a good thing.

Let's see. If I had those short, meaty legs of yours, I'd definitely be thankful that I didn't end up on the Thanksgiving dinner table.

True. But what I am fur-ever grateful for is Grammy Lee finding me my forever home with you, Mom, and Dad.

Yeah. I know what you mean, Pilgrim. Besides the ridiculous outfits that we have to wear, life doesn't get any better!

Oh Great Newmie, can you enlighten me as to the meaning of this holiday in the Knowlton family?

You know, Pilgrim, I'm not sure since this is my first Thanksgiving with M&D, too.

Since we recently started a grain free diet, I'm hoping and praying that it involves that 23 pound turkey that I've heard mentioned.

Me, too. I don't want to get your hopes up, but I think this "Day of Thanks" of which we speak might have potential to surpass your birthday celebration. Just last night, I heard Mom exclaim, "Good Gravy, Steve, have you lost your mind?" so I'm thinking that gravy might also be on the menu.

I hope you speak the truth, because I love gravy. In any event, let's take this moment to give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.

Agreed. That's the most thoughtful and insightful thing I've heard you say. What do you say "we bury the hatchet" over me stealing and gutting your birthday presents within minutes of receiving them?

As long as I am still on target for turkey and gravy tomorrow, I honestly don't care that you ate that tasteless, stuffed octopus that Aunt Janice and Aunt Lisa bought me.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Happy Birthday, Bro!

Today my little, older brother Roger turned two years old. Joyeux Anniversaire, Monsieur Roger - or Happy Birthday, Mr. Roger, in your native tongue!

Rog did such a bang-up job planning my first birthday party in the Outer Barks that I am fearful of his expectations. Although I don't have as exotic of a venue to work with, I plan to make up for it with cool games like Bobbing for Weenies, Pin the Tail on the Piglet, and Spin the Kong.

One only needs to venture a guess as to why the following GEICO
commercial with Verne Troyer reminds me of Rog:

a) his pint-size stature
b) he's silly looking
c) it's his birthday
d) all of the above

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

We support our Troops and honor our Vets!

We support our Troops and honor our Vets!

Newman: Do you know what day today is, Rog?

Roger: Could it be Veterans Day?

Newman: Bingo, maybe you're not as dumb as you look.

Roger: By the way, Sarge, Bingo is not my name-o! So does Vets Day mean that we have to go to the vet for a check up?

Newman: Negative, dingbat-pig. Veterans Day is an American holiday to honor the millions of military veterans in the United States usually observed on November 11. In other parts of the world, it is also celebrated as Armistice Day because it falls on the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I.

Roger: So it's a day to honor vets who are not our primary care physicians?

Newman: Affirmative.
As hard as it is to believe, Roger and I did not meet the stringent qualifications when we tried to enlist. While I passed all the physical tests with flying colors (Red, White, and Blue), the recruiter discovered that I was not of age to join.

Roger was disqualified immediately for being vertically challenged. Even by including his exceptionally large bat ears in the measurement, he still could not meet the height requirement because of the deficit created by his little legs.

"Freedom is not free!" In addition to honoring our vets, I think that we should take a moment to thank all the soldiers, like Andrew Gage, who are currently fighting for our country. While they courageously look out for the safety of our great nation, we diligently look out and pray for their safe return.

Roger (and Newman in tank) on Look Out

If you have a special soldier or Vet you'd like to thank, drop me a line at and I'll happily post your message.

Soldier of the DayAndrew Gage is an E2 serving in the Airborne Division at Fort Drum.
He is currently stationed in Iraq with his tour to end in November 2009.

On behalf of boxers Blush and Torch, I'd like to personally say, "Thank you, Uncle Andrew!"