Friday, January 30, 2009

The Abominable Snowmen

Roger and I awoke to a wonderful surprise yesterday. School was closed due to the inclement weather. Since we are home schooled, you're probably thinking, "Big deal," right? Well, it wasn't just any school that closed. It was the Law School which meant that Mom got to stay home and we got a "get out of jail free" pass.

So, instead of spending eight hours in a 4x4 cell, Roger and I helped Mom build a snowman. While I am no Michelangelo, I was rather pleased with our frosty friend's lifelike appearance considering that Roger has the creativity of a log, which is about the only thing he's capable of sculpting.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Revenge of Tuffzilla

While Roger and I thought we had rid Brushtown of Tuffzilla, undoubtedly it was Tuffzilla who had the last laugh as he continued to fight back from the bowels of a garbage truck, as well as Roger. Much to our surprise, the resilient reptile lived up to his name and continued to wage war on the Knowlton household while being transported to some distant landfill.

Although the battle was short-lived, it will definitely go down in the "anals" of history. What started out as an ordinary doody call in the backyard turned into a potentially life-threatening situation.

After several minutes of running around trying to free himself from the writhing remnants hanging from his back end, it was obvious that Roger was not going to be able to pass the indigestible innards of Tuffzilla on his own. So, after tackling the little, bat-eared bully, Dr. Daddy Dawg stepped in and performed a highly sophisticated field operation to extract a 6-inch portion of emanating entrails, saving Roger from Tuffzilla's claws of death.

I admit that the consumption of foreign materials is no laughing matter. However, I chose to blog about the crappy situation with which Dad was faced to educate my readers about the serious and potentially life-threatening consequences of doing so.

Often while chewing on toys, dogs may unintentionally or, as is the case with Roger, intentionally ingest some or all of the material. Although some smaller foreign bodies can pass through the gut without causing a problem, larger pieces can result in serious gastrointestinal complications. Signs of gastrointestinal upset include not eating, vomiting, drooling, or abnormal bowel movements. If you suspect that your dog may have ingested a foreign object or that he is suffering from gastrointestinal upset, contact your veterinarian immediately.

The best way to keep your K-9 companion from ingesting foreign bodies is to prevent access to objects that could be swallowed. At first blush, this task appears simple, unless, of course, you have a ravenous bat-i-mus pig-a-mus as a little brother! Translation: A voracious little bat-pig who tries to consume anything dogly possible.
Honestly, M&D are constantly saying, "Roger, drop it!" Heck, I was beginning to think that "Roger Drop it Knowlton" was his AKC registered name. Not quite as eloquent as Katandy's Calypso Moon Newman, but it does have a certain ring.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Tuffzilla vs. Snub-Nosed Beasts

For decades the legendary Tuffzilla has ravaged villages, towns, and cities alike throughout the world. No one has been able to tame the terrible beast. That is until he met his match when he tried to attack a little village known as Brushtown in central Pennsylvania.

To find out who wins the epic battle between a tag team of two snub-nosed beasts and one of the world's most feared forces, check out the following film footage.

This video contains graphic material. Viewer discretion is advised.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

True Santa Unveiled

As you can see from the following film footage of one very disgruntled elf, being Santa's little helper isn't as holly jolly as it's cracked up to be.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

I don't know how you "rang in" the New Year, but hopefully you did it responsibly. Being the party animals that we are, Mom, Dad, Roger and I stayed home and watched the Waterford Crystal Ball drop in Times Square at midnight from the confines of our comfy couch. Exciting, I know. Actually, it was a far better option than the alternative which was to drive to nearby Dillsburg, PA, stand out in the bitter cold, and watch the infamous Dill Pickle drop at midnight.

Roger and I found the new design of the New Year’s Eve Ball to be extremely well crafted. Double the size of previous balls, the new one is a 12 foot geodesic sphere and weighs 11,875 pounds. Covered in 2,668 Waterford Crystals and powered by 32,256 Philips Luxeon Rebel LEDS, the new ball is capable of creating a palette of more than 16 million vibrant colors and billions of patterns.

I don't know if you were fortunate enough to see any of the new patterns, but Roger and I found the above design to be the most breathtaking.

After such a thrilling night of partying, today we are just kicking back and waiting for the Rose Bowl to come on. GO LIONS!!!

Wishing you health, wealth, and happiness in 2009!