Mount Insane

As many of you know, my Uncle Mike and Aunt Sherry are quite the world travelers. Again this year, they went on a one-month safari to Africa. Hunting with Bushmen is not my cup of tea, but to each his own. Rumor has it that next year they plan to follow in the footsteps of Sir George Everest, the British surveyor-general of India and first person ever to climb and record the mountain's height and location in 1865.

Experienced Sherpa Guides

Here's tipping our Chullo hats to you for trying to make the trek. You might consider taking an experienced Brushtown Area Sherpa Guide to increase your chances of success. You know where to find us. Call 1-800-RU-OUTTA-YOUR-FREAKIN-MINDS?

Happy Thanksgiving

Roger and Newman discuss "thanks"

Roger: Well, establishing a colony of Frenchies in Brushtown would be nice. But seeing how you are of German descent and we live in the heart of Amish country, also known for boxer puppy mills, I don't see that happening any time soon, which is a good thing.

Newman: Let's see. If I had those short, meaty legs of yours, I'd definitely be thankful that I didn't end up on the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Roger: True. But what I am fur-ever grateful for is Grammy Lee finding me my forever home with you, Mom, and Dad.

Newman: Yeah. I know what you mean, Pilgrim. Besides the ridiculous outfits that we have to wear, life doesn't get any better!

Roger: Oh Great Newmie, can you enlighten me as to the meaning of this holiday in the Knowlton family?

Newman: You know, Pilgrim, I'm not sure since this is my first Thanksgiving with M&D, too.

Roger: Since we recently started a grain free diet, I'm hoping and praying that it involves that 23 pound turkey that I've heard mentioned.

Newman: Me, too. I don't want to get your hopes up, but I think this "Day of Thanks" of which we speak might have potential to surpass your birthday celebration. Just last night, I heard Mom exclaim, "Good Gravy, Steve, have you lost your mind?" so I'm thinking that gravy might also be on the menu.

Roger: I hope you speak the truth, because I love gravy. In any event, let's take this moment to give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.

Newman: Agreed. That's the most thoughtful and insightful thing I've heard you say. What do you say "we bury the hatchet" over me stealing and gutting your birthday presents within minutes of receiving them?

Roger: As long as I am still on target for turkey and gravy tomorrow, I honestly don't care that you ate that tasteless, stuffed octopus that Aunt Janice and Aunt Lisa bought me.