Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Twelve Days of Destitution (Part I)

Well, Dad and Roger left for the OBX Saturday morning with the rest of the Knowlton Klan. Dad reports that the weather is great and that they are having a grand time even in our absence. Roger has made a ton of new friends even without wearing his chick magnet t-shirt that Mom made for him. Honestly, I don't know what in Dog's name she was thinking. Roger draws enough attention to Dad without blatantly announcing that he's a chick magnet.

I sure hope that Dad doesn't decide to run off with some beautiful young mermaid and live happily ever after, because I desperately miss him and Roger and am not enjoying living in a one-parent household. After all, who am I supposed to turn to when Mom says, "No, you can't spend the night at Peanut's house. I don't care if she did sweep the ring this weekend taking winners bitch three out of four days at the Hampton, VA shows!"

Before Dad left, he gave Mom $12 to try to survive on for the next twelve days which we have dubbed as "The Twelve Days of Destitution."
On the first day of destitution, my Momma fed to me . . . Chef Boy-R-Dee.
On the second day of destitution, my Momma fed to me . . . Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
Actually, Thelma and I are eating like royalty as usual. Poor Roger, however, has been relegated to eating scraps that the human hogs don't want or like since Dad forgot to pack his Redbarn dog food. Thank Dog they at least gave him a Keystone Light and a glass of Merlot to chase down that vile garbage. Stay strong Rog! You'll be home soon.

Roger relegated to Little People's Table
Those of you who know the Knowltons, know that Mom controls the cash flow! I confess that we broke the $12 budget allowance within eight hours of Dad leaving by making a trip to the local pet store where we purchased a Road Refresher No Spill Travel Bowl. We later learned that Bo Obama has one, too! How cool are we?

Bo Obama proudly displays his Road Refresher Bowl

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Newman's blog always makes me smile. This time I laughed out loud!! Too funny...keep'em coming!