Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Big Hard One

Donut head in his donut bed

I'm sure that you have all heard of the Big Easy. Well, M&D have been talking about the Big Hard One a lot lately. Last week, Mom even brought Grammy Lee into the conversation, which, to me, was a little disturbing. Unfortunately for me, I discovered that the Big Hard One had nothing to do with unmentionable bedroom activities, but rather the decision about the fate of my family jewels. That's why Grammy Lee was consulted.

Because I am such a handsome and personable fella —even though I never garnered a point in the show ring during my short career, the decision was definitely not an easy one —at least not for M&D. If I had any say in the matter, the answer would have been a definite resounding —NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Although I was rather groggy before entering Never Never Land, I can't seem to shake a very unsettling image from my mind. Every time I close my eyes, this horrible picture fills my head. It's far worse than Dad's recurring nightmare of being stark naked in a crowded mall surrounded by tons of teenage girls shopping for clothes and giggling uncontrollably at his lack of clothing! Enough about Dad and his dreams. Back to the frightening image that I fear will be forever etched in my brain.

In all honesty, I know that M&D decided to have me neutered with my best interests in mind. Heck, Mom's always on her soapbox about responsible pet ownership which includes spaying and neutering — but I'll save that for another day.


Anonymous said...

You take it easy for a while! Don't let Roger be too rough with you. If he does, you let ME know about it!

Aunt Lisa

Frenchie Maintenance Supervisor said...

Poor Newman! Even making fun of you with a theme song! Work those sad eyes and sutures for all the extra treats you can get!

Robin said...

You'll be a better man for it, Newman ol' boy. Your pals in NE PA went through this and are much happier for it.
Mikey, Scooby & Louie