Monday, June 8, 2009

Tarred and Feathered - Part II

As I alluded to in my May 7 post, like Roger, I also find feathers fun. While I did not kill any innocent birds to fulfill my feather fetish, I did, however, recently have an 8-hour feather fest to help alleviate the boredom of staring at the same four walls of my 4x3 cell while M&D were at work. Let me enlighten you as to how to host a fun-filled, feather fiesta when having to deal with such "downers."

Ingredients:
  • One bored boxer dog (or bitch)

  • One 48" wire iCrate by MidWest (also known as "Cell Block B" for boredom)

  • One King Size Down Comforter within paws reach of the cell

  • One Queen Size Down Comforter within paws reach of the cell

  • One Full Size Down Comforter within paws reach of the cell

  • 8 hours of time to "kill" while parents serve their prison sentence (aka work)

Directions:

  • After hearing parents leave for work, poke paw through wire opening in jail cell and extend until it comes in contact with first comforter. Using a repeated raking motion, continue to pull comforter closer so that it's within mouth-range.

  • After getting within lip-reach of the cell, administer the infamous lip-lock move and pull the comforter as far as physically possible into Cell Block B. When you can no longer pull any more fabric through the bars, attack the comforter's casing using both "tooth and nail."

  • After freeing as many feathers as possible from King-size comforter, proceed to Queen-size comforter and repeat process.

  • Perform same procedure on Full-size comforter.

  • Sit and marvel at the wonderful batch of Duck Soup you've created while waiting for M&D to return home from the Chain Gang.

  • Proudly perform the "Kidney Bean Dance" by bending body in half repeatedly from left to right as fast as possible to show M&D how happy you are that they are home.

NOTE: Click on slideshow for full screen viewing.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well my boy!!! You certainly outdid yourself this time!!!

Love,
your very FAVORITE aunt
xxxooo

Robin said...

You got a ways to go, Newman my man. My boy Mikey also managed to pull down pillows into his crate. Of course, that was when he was a younger guy and had to stay in his cell. Now he's more trustable and left on his own.