Jail Break

Prisoner in Lockdown

Well, it's been almost three weeks since my sentence was handed down. The infraction occurred late on a Thursday evening when we were getting ready to leave Uncle RB's house.

After ignoring Dad's command to "get in the truck," I got a juvenile hair up my butt and displayed complete and total disrespect for authority by running circles around M&D as they were both screaming their lungs out for me to "come" - a command which obviously escaped me at the time. Hearing Dad mutter something like "You're going to be sorry when I get my paws on you," I decided that in doing my laps around them, I better keep just out of arms reach. This tactic, I believe, only added insult to injury.

The biggest shock of my life, however, came at the tail end of my two-day leash restriction when the warden at the Brushtown Area Correctional Facility granted me "off leash" for my hour of exercise in the prison yard.

Just when I thought that there was little hope for escape with Brushtown Correctional Officer Snoop Daddy Dawg breathing down my neck, one of the other inmates yelled, "Look over there. A nude monkey!" After doing some quick ciphering about the distance to freedom and the maximum running speed of which I needed to reach to my goal, I decided to make a break for it.

I remember rounding third base with home plate clearly in sight, when all of a sudden, "WHAM!" I got nailed with what felt like a thunderbolt of lightning. During the split second that all of the extra electric juice was getting pumped into me, I thought, "This must be what it's like on "The Green Mile."

Never knowing what lies ahead of me when wearing the electronic behavioral modification device, I try my hardest to stay within the confines of the correctional exercise area. One thing, however, is certain. Officer Snoop Daddy Dawg certainly instilled the fear of Dog in me with that ZAP!

Prisoner allowed off-leash privilege when wearing monitoring device