Take this job and shove it!

Newman working on animal law article for alumni magazine

As many of you know, I had been helping out the Communications Office working as a ghostwriter helping to pick up some slack while Mom's supervisor, Ms. Kelly, works to get back into the grind after returning from maternity leave.

Unlike several of Mom's co-workers, whose names will go unmentioned, I took my position seriously and never sent inappropriate e-mail messages, used profanity, or shopped on-line while on the clock.

Unfortunately, just recently the proverbial shit hit the fan after a furry, four-legged visitor left a suprise present for the housekeeping staff. Needless to say, I think that they would have much rather preferred a plate of homemade cookies as to the fudge left in the hallway.

Being a state-run educational institution, Penn State University has a policy on everything under the sun. While the policy regarding animals in the building has never been strictly enforced at the Law School, after a couple of incidents like the aforementioned one the following edict was handed down.

University Policy SY07 on Control of Animals on University Property provides that no person shall bring any animal into a University building. The presence of animals on University property has had, in many cases, an adverse effect on the normal functions of the University by causing bodily harm to individuals, unsanitary conditions in University buildings and facilities, and nuisances.

Do not bring dogs or any other animals into any University building. Violations of this policy are punishable by law.

While I harbor no ill feelings toward the administration for implementing this policy, I am saddened that I will no longer be able to chew the fat in the staff infection lounge with my co-workers.

Newman and Aunt Lisa kickin' back in the staff infection lounge

I think that Johnny Paycheck best sums up my feelings with his 1978 hit, "Take this job and shove it!"